Mind You..
Thought control.
I began this literary quest to try to pin down the exact mechanism of thoughts which have in the past allowed me the most fabulous outcomes. As is the usual way for me, the act of writing seems to elicit new angles and new information to simply arrive, and this has certainly been the case here.
When I read what is written so far, I see that I am dancing around the finite conclusion that I am aiming for. Many new and valid theories have come from entirely random sources and each has seemed initially as if it might perform the miracle of pulling the entire thing together.
But it eludes me. I feel no closer. In fact, it seems that I am being prevented from revealing the final truth of it all.
It has ocurred to me that it may be impossible to accurately pinpoint the essence of thought when using thought. I am not sure what other means are at my disposal.
However, I am attempting to alter the course of my investigation, for it has always seemed to me that there was more than one of me thinking.
Recent exposure to a number of documentaries has clarified who I really am from a wholistic vantage point. I am a human with a conscious intellect and a subconscious one. My subconscious mind can absorb data at about 10 million times the rate that my conscious mind can, so that would tend to suggest that deliberate contemplation is likely to run one around in circles dictated by what the subconscious or egocentric mind considers to be experientially proven or acceptable, and to keep me on the path that I have apparently been following due to all the behaviourial constraints I have been subjected to for most of my life.
What has attracted me the most though, has been the concept that my spirit, or soul if you prefer, enjoys a much closer relationship to the greater consciousness that we are all a part of, than my conscious mind seems to. As consciousness is energy, and energy is all things, the art of manifestation, or transmutation, from thought to physical representation would appear to be far easier to my spirit than my human mind.
That would not necessarily be the case if it were not for the all-controlling 'ego' or subconscious which overrides the free intellect.
Now...
Let me just tell you another small story which is relevent to all of the above and what I know to be true. It was also likely the point at which I suddenly became aware of the spiritual side of us all.
My Mother died. She was quite unorthodox for her times, and a great reader of leading philosophical minds of the day.
I had a friend who had learned and practiced Shamanic rituals. Some time after the cremation my friend asked if I would like her to do a shamanic journey for my mother. She knew nothing of my mother so I figured it was a mark of respect for me. I agreed in a lighthearted fashion as I had no expectation that it would amount to anything.
A week or so later she told me it was done and would I like to know what happened. Yes I would. She explained that after the body dies, the spirit goes to a place of its own invention, usually a familiar one or a fondly imagined one, but the spirit may then be confused about what to do next. The shamanic journey's purpose is to help them to move on - or back - to the realm of pure spirit, which is the next logical step. She described finding my mother in a large building, with columns and tall windows, like some institution. I knew immediately that this would have been a University, as my mother was an accomplished academic and had always encouraged us to be likewise. My friend introduced herself and explained that she was my friend and had come to assist mum. They spoke of me and then my friend asked mum if she would like help to move on. She now said that my mum was a very strange person. Most spirits are confused and keen to seek help. My mother refused her help and said she was quite happy here and that she would move on when she was ready.
There is no doubt in my mind whatsoever. My friend had indeed met the spirit of my mother, and spoken with her, weeks after her death.
I now had to accept that we are indeed part spirit, and that the spirit part of us, which appears to retain much of the persona we know in life, exists happily after the death of our human form. End of story.
Since making that acceptance I have learned a great deal more of our spirit nature if for no other reason than I no longer rejected the concept and instead actually listened.
Our spirit is the observer of experience and is pure energy consciousness.
The physical body is the vehicle which enables experience in a physical environment, both of which are simply energy in forms.
Sandwiched between the two are the conscious and subconscious minds, both of which are presumably in touch with more than just our own internal thought processes.
How do we integrate all of that into a usable state. Especially as the subconscious mind seems to override any attempts for either of our other two states to make contact with each other.
And that connection would change everything entirely. Everything and more than we can comprehend from our current perspective.
sigh.
My purpose in this book was to master the art of deliberate creation, so I could turn thought into desired outcomes easily and reliably. That now seems like a party trick.
What would I create.? Fun, love, excitement, adventure, health, wealth.? I already have all of these things, so it would seem that I had already managed this.
I also assumed I had freedom of thought, but this is no longer certain. Not from external limitations, but my own mind. There is a program running which feels that a greater degree of communication between all that I am would be counter-productive, and yet it also seems certain that the program may need updating from time to time, and that may be the purpose of the awakening most humans are already feeling to be in progress.
I am still hopeful that I may manage some small to moderate breakthrough within my own composite being, and I guess if I keep writing then you observers can observe my process even as I am doing the same thing.
What I now understand is that anything I could aspire to as far as extra mind abilities whilst still in my existing human ego would be pretty limited. The whole struggle with the escapade up to here is that while I have been privvy to thought from elsewhere which has given me an elevated overview, as well as some very exciting and tempting outcomes along the way, my conscious mind is prevented from finding a way to describe the methodology that was in use to do this.
It is therefore necessary to break free of the ego/subconscious control program, or elicit action from my spirit partner entity, by what means I have no imagination of.
Its looking tough folks, and yet I have experienced thought outcomes that were inexplicable to my egocentric mind, and I am still here and plotting to overthrow it, so who knows what is actually possible and where it may lead.
Here goes something.
Part Six - Its like this..